Being Weird

I know that I'm a pretty weird girl, and I do my best to accept it but at times my anxiety comes back to swallow me. I guess today is one of those days lol. I reached out to some people and that's why my heart is pounding so badly. But I just have to deal with it, it's the only way to live. 

Now that I've completed Stranger Things, I don't really know what to do. I've been reading this new manga, and I like it, but I'm not obsessed with it. It's fun, that's all. It's not like Arakawa Under the Bridge, or the series I read last summer where I spent every waking moment on them. I don't think there are many more series out there that can consume me the way the stuff I read last summer did. Maybe today I'll play the Sims. I am just so bored. I haven't watched any movies yet this summer. On the last day of school, I started La La Land, but after I went to bed that night, I did not touch it again. I'm going to get one of my sisters to click through my driver's ed for me and give it back when it's time for the quizzes. Yup, I just got Sarah, my youngest sister, to do it. I'm going to attempt to play the Sims 4, but lately the game's been messing up due to mod malfunctions, and I don't want to do all the work to figure out what's causing it. I guess we'll see how things turn out today. 

I like the schedule I've set up for myself these boring days at home. I wake up, wash my face, brush my teeth, then change from my night clothes to my day clothes. My day clothes are my THS 2023 shirt and a pair of shorts. In the evening, preferably between 4 and 8 pm, I shower and put on my night clothes, which was a mean girls t-shirt and black boxers. This morning, I got toothpaste on my t-shirt, so I will be wearing a different t-shirt tonight. I pulled out a Delta t-shirt this morning so that's what I'll wear to sleep tonight. When I change into my day clothes, I also put on my Pirates jacket because I get cold, as well as some fluffy socks for the same reason. After I change into my day clothes, I come downstairs and take my medicine. I would ideally take it with water and some Little Bites, but I'm lazy and have a bad habit of swallowing pills dry, which is disgusting. After that, there's really no routine. The routine is just for the morning and the evening. I want to sign up for the Planet Fitness free teen membership, but I need to get my license or I have no ride. I'm not paying for Lyft, that's a no. I would have a ride when my mother returns to America, but she'd leave again at the end of June for a program that she's doing in France, and she wouldn't return until July 20th I believe. Basically, I have to rely on myself for transportation. My dad is here, but he's only available 2 days out of the week. I don't know. I'll figure it out I guess. I just really need something to do I am bored out of my mind and getting tired very quickly of all this technology. I need school back, and not even for nerd reasons, just to have something to do. Hibbett Sports is hiring and they're right up the street, but once again transpo becomes an issue again. My dad could drop me off before work but could not pick me up. I have got to get this license man. I even have a car waiting for me. My family has 3 cars now that my mom got a new one, so her old car is really mine as soon as I get a license.

When my mom gets back, I want to go shopping. This summer I really want to find the right clothes that fit me so I can dress how I want. I'm tall, so my only problem should be the length of pants, but it's not. I have an average build, yet I have a hard time finding clothes that fit me. It's so weird. I've started to wonder if maybe I'm seeing my body different than I actually look or something, because this is ridiculous. I need to go eat something, so bye. I hope all of you are doing well and if not, feel better.